Dealing with Fear: A Guide for Parents of Anxious Children

Do you have a fearful child? It is not uncommon for young children to express anxiety about a number of topics, including "monsters," the dark or even going to school. The good news is, you can help your little one manage their fears while improving your relationship at the same time. Read on for a few tips to help you with this situation.

Recognize Where Fear Comes From

Children are afraid of things they do not understand. Little ones, in particular, do not have the ability to think through new experiences to figure out what is going on and how to cope with it. In addition, starting at around age two, children begin to develop an imagination, which can also increase fear. A child may be able to picture a monster in their mind, but at the same time, they have difficulty understanding that the monster isn't real. It is important for your child to be able to manage their fear, because it sets the stage for how they will deal with other emotions later in their life. As their parent, you can be a crucial support during this process.

Reassure Your Little One

If your child expresses fear, start by telling them that everyone gets afraid sometimes.  Thank them for telling you how they feel. From there, make sure they know that you and your partner will do everything you can to keep them safe. However, make sure you don't tell your child not to be afraid or ridicule them for expressing this emotion. It won't help them get over their fears and it may lead to a situation where they do not feel comfortable confiding in you any longer. Always acknowledge what your child is saying to you, but try and find a balance between giving them too much attention for their fears and ignoring them.

Help With Bedtime

Children often feel anxious at bedtime for two reasons. First, the dark can be scary. In addition, it can be difficult to be away from you and your partner for long periods of time. To help with the adjustment, make sure your child has a nightlight. Establish a bedtime routine, where you read a story or sing a song to get your little one to relax. You can also purchase a sound machine so there is some background noise in the room.

Once your child reaches the age of four or five years old, you can begin helping them manage their fear of the darkness. Have him or her draw pictures of the dark; it could help you see if there is a specific fear, like a monster living in the closet, that you weren't aware of before. Also, play games together in the dark (with a flashlight) to help your child get used to the experience of being in an area without light.

Having fears and anxieties as a child is very normal. You can help your child learn coping skills that will be valuable to them later in life by using the tips included above.